InuYasha – The Condensed Commentary Version
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: Episodes condensed into a short but hilarious and crazy commentary through the eyes of the audience and the author. *Latest update: Episodes 89 - 101*
1. Episodes 1 through 17

Author's Note – Hey everyone! I was going on a Thumbnail Theater binge and I ended up coming up with this idea. I know that on a normal basis I almost never swear heavily in my fics, but for this one I just let myself go. Well, technically not, as I could've done worse. Anywho, this is supposed to be meant as a commentary, so take it lightly, ok folks? Have fun reading it!

Rated – R for frequent swearing

By - Merc

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

__

**Kagome** – I'm a happy normal 15 year old girl who just so happens to live at a family-owned shrine. Now where's my cat? 

*_Finds him at the bottom of an old, ancient, foreboding well_*

**Bouyo** – Meow.

**Kagome** – There you are! 

*_Monster sucks her into the old, ancient, foreboding well_* 

*_A nifty light-show and a few stunt scenes later_*

**Kagome **– Where am I? And who's that dude stuck to a tree. I'll save you! *_Pulls arrow*_

**InuYasha** – Thanks for freeing me. As a sign of my thanks I'll attempt to kill you. Multiple times.

**Kagome** – Ack, that monster who was dead isn't dead!

**InuYasha** – Outta the way, I wanna kill her!

*_An intense fight scene and a the plot of the story flying around later_*

**InuYasha** – Dude, that's the Shikon no Tama!

**Kagome** – The Shikon no Whatta?

**Kaede** – Hello, I'll just pop out of nowhere here and tell you that you're the reincarnation of my dead-as-a-dornail sister. 

**Kagome** – I have got to stop eating grandpa's cooking.

**InuYasha** – I want it!

**Kagome** – Hey, it came out of MY body, it's mine. Get your own!

**InuYasha** – I'll kill you.

**Kaede** – Play nice you two.

**InuYasha** – Screw you old bag.

*_Second episode_*

**Kagome** – What the hell? I _really _have got to stop eating grandpa's cooking.

**Kaede** – You're awake? 

**Kagome** – This dream/drug-induced hallucination should be over by now. I wanna go home. *_Whimper_*

**Kaede** – No can do.

**Kagome** – Crap.

**InuYasha** – Gimme the Shikon no Tama!

**Kagome** – Bug off. I'm going home. *_Walks away unescorted_* This time period sucks.

*_Kagome is kidnapped, in accordance with The Laws of Anime ™_ *

**Viewers** – *_Sarcastically* Wow, didn't see that coming. _

**Kagome** – I hate my life.

**Samurai-thugs** – Let's play with her skirt, threaten rape, and comment on how funny she looks.

**Kagome** – No Stockholm Syndrome on this end.

**InuYasha** – Gimme back my reincarnated girlfriend! I mean…the jewel!

**Kagome** – Eek!

**Samurai-thugs** – Our boss is attacking us? Why?

**InuYasha** – His heart was eaten out by a black bird.

**Kagome** – Ew! Sucks to be him.

*_A bunch of stuff happens. The Shikon no Tama gets loose and the crow eats it._*

**InuYasha** – You're the reincarnation of a dead priestess who was a freakishly good archer. Shoot it.

**Kagome** – I've never held a bow and arrow in my life.

**InuYasha – So? The Laws of Anime ™ conclude that you must be perfect at it.**

*_Misses. Multiple times.*_

**InuYasha** – You suck at this.

**Kagome** – Well DUH!!!

*_InuYasha__ kills it. In accordance with The Laws of Anime ™ and the launching of the plot, it comes back to life.*_

**InuYasha** – Damnit!

**Kagome** – I'll shoot my arrow with its foot, that way my horrendously-bad aim will go unnoticed by the local villagers.

*_Hits the bird, splits the jewel._*

**Kaede** – That's not good.

**Kagome** – I'm really wishing I hadn't gotten out of bed this morning.

**InuYasha** – Great merciful crap! The jewel!

**Kaede** – The Laws of Anime ™  state that you two will have to work closely together in order to retrieve the shards.

**InuYasha** – Why do I have to help?

**Kaede** – Because by The Laws of Anime ™  you're the angsty romantic interest of the series.

**InuYasha** – Screw this, I'm outta here!

*_Kaede__ chants, a necklace appears*_

**InuYasha** – What the hell is this?

**Kaede** – Pick a word Kagome, and he will be forced to obey your every whim.

**Kagome** – Osuwari (sit)!

*_InuYasha__ smashes into the ground*_

**Kaede** – As The Laws of Anime ™  state, this will ensure that you two will work together and become romantically involved. It will also ensure that he won't kill you.

**InuYasha** – Fuck you old bag.

**Kagome** – I just wanna go home! 

**Kaede** – No dice. Now go find the jewel shards.

**InuYasha** – By the way, whatever happened to my love-story-arc… I mean ex-girlfriend?

**Kaede** – She died.

**InuYasha** – Crap. Well in that case I'll just pretend that it doesn't bother me while I let that fact secretly eat away at my soul non-stop for the entire series and complicate the main-character's life.

**Kagome** – And I'm her reincarnation, right?

**Kaede** – That's about the size of it.

**Kagome** – Word.

*_A bunch of random stuff happens. Character development happens._*

**Sesshomaru**** – S'up dawg?**

**InuYasha** – Great, my she-male of a brother is here to mock me about being a hanyou. Just great.

**Kagome** – Who are you?

**Sesshomaru** – Word up yo, I'm his bro. I've been sent to establish character development and confuse people as to whether I'm an antagonist or protagonist. I also have a poker face, hate all living beings either than myself, and I have a huge honkin' fuzzball on my shoulder that nobody will ever be able to figure out. 

**Kagome** – You're a guy?

**InuYasha** – Fuck off Sesshomaru.

**Sesshomaru** – You were dad's favorite. 

**InuYasha** – Serves you right for being a stone-cold jerk. Let's fight pointlessly.

**Sesshomaru** – I'm game. 

*_They fight._*

**Sesshomaru** – Oh, by the way, dad's grave is hidden in your eye.

**InuYasha** – So that explains the Astigmatism.

**Kagome** – This time period is like Days of Our Lives on acid.

*_Pulls it out_*

**InuYasha** – Cool, I got a sword!

**Sesshomaru** – Blow off, it's mine.

**InuYasha** – Get a life poker-face. 

**Sesshomaru** – I'm stronger than you are but I can't pull the stupid sword from the stone.

**Kagome**  - Eh?

**Sesshomaru** - *Grunt* *Pull* *Grunt* Damn…

**InuYasha** – Ha ha, you can't pull it out. Nya nya!

**Sesshomaru** – Maybe if I kill you it'll budge.

**InuYasha** – Bring it on Fluffy!

**Kagome** – *Effortlessly pulls the sword out* What's so hard about pulling this damn thing out?

**InuYasha** – All hail King Arthur! Er, I mean, w00t!

**Sesshomaru** – Why can that weak human girl pull it out and not me? Oh well, might as well kill her for it.

**Kagome** – Can't we all just get along and negotiate.

**Sesshomaru** – Negotiations are for weenies.

**Kagome** – Suit yourself you shman.

*A large and pointlessly-long fight later*

**InuYasha** – Ha ha, got your arm.

**Sesshomaru** – Damn, I'm gonna feel that tomorrow.

**InuYasha** – Ph34r me d00d.

**Sesshomaru** – This isn't over!

**Kagome** – Tight moves.

**InuYasha** – What the fuck? All that effort for a rusted old piece-of-crap katana? I knew dad was smoking something when he knocked up mom, but come ON. This sucks.

*_A bunch more stuff happens. More characters come and go. InuYasha learns that his father wasn't as high as he thought he was when he left him the Tetsusaiga.*_

**InuYasha** – This sword rules! And to think my tight-ass girlie-man of a brother got a sword of healing. Ha ha! 

*_More pointless stuff happens._*

**Kagome** – Shit's going down in my time. Lend me a hand, will ya?

**InuYasha**** – D00d, the future totally r0x0rs my s0x0rs. **

**Kagome** – No time to oogle at the modern comforts of which you will NEVER partake in. Quick save everyone here. And while you're at it, hide your ears. I already have enough worry about without the FBI and CIA experimenting on you. 

**InuYasha** – So you're making me wear this blank, un-ad-endorsed "baseball" cap?

**Kagome** – Screw your clothes, according to The Laws of Anime ™,  nobody'll notice that you're walking around in a feudal-aged outfit with a modern-aged baseball cap and scarily long white hair. 

**InuYasha** – Sweet.

*_Stuff in the modern world happens. They then go back to the feudal world where more stuff happens.*_

**Kagome** – InuYasha and me, happy as can be.

**Shippou** – Hi, according to The Laws of Anime ™,  I'm the default cute cuddly character that is required in every anime series. Gimme the shards, I gotta avenge my dead stark-naked father.

**InuYasha – Already done.**

**Shippou** – You're good.

**InuYasha** – Being the pretentious, presumptuous bastard that I am, I'm going to tell you to screw off.

**Shippou** – To hell with you, I'm going with Kagome.

**InuYasha** – That entails going with me.

**Kagome** – Osuwari.

**InuYasha** – *BAM!!!* Eat garbage and die, Kagome.

**Shippou** – Because you're the main character Kagome, you're going to be super nice to me and I'm going to quickly form a mother-son attachment to you.

**Kagome** – You're totally cute.

**InuYasha** – You're totally dead.

*_Later on_*

**Urasue** - *Steals dirt and brings Kikyou back to life* Damn I'm good!

**Audience** – OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

**Kikyou** – I live! And being the icy bitch-queen that I am, I'm going to now spend the rest of the series annoying the crap out of the entire main cast and rambling pointlessly about revenge and how life sucks big hairy ass.

_Kagome_ – Uh, hello? Not to dampen he moment here but A BIG FREAKIN' CHUNK OF MY SOUL IS NOW MISSING!!!

**Kikyou** – Bite me reincarnate.

**InuYasha** – Damnit! Now I've got two girlfriends to deal with.

**Kikyou** – I no longer like you. 

**InuYasha** – You're only saying that because you've had a 50-year stay in hell. You know you love me baby.

**Kikyou** – Give it up Mr. Horny. You ain't gettin' none.

**InuYasha – Damn.**

**Kagome** – Why me? 

**Kikyou** – I hate you the most Kagome.

**Kagome** – But I'm you!

**Kikyou – So?**

**Shippou** – I'm totally lost.

**Kagome** – Crap, this is getting paradoxal.

**Kikyou** – Damn straight. Go back to your own time 'ho.

**Kagome** – I was really this bitchy in my past life?

**Kikyou** – You suck.

**Kagome** – That entails that you suck, since technically you're insulting yourself.

**Kikyou** - *Gets confused*

**InuYasha** - *Gets confused*

**Kikyou** – ARGH!!! 

**Kagome** – Heh, education's a bitch when used against stupider people.

**Kikyou** – I'm not stupid!

**Kagome** – Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you aren't.

**InuYasha** – Ack, no more catfights! I have to deal with enough of these in the rest of the series as it is!

**Kikyou**** and Kagome – Get lost!**

*_A bunch more stuff happens. The group wanders, eats, sleeps, and have a bunch of nonchalance hijinks_.*

**Miroku** – Yo, I'm the pimpingnest monk you ever saw.

**InuYasha** – Oh look, it's a perverted monk.

**Miroku** – Let me introduce myself. According to The Laws of Anime ™ , I'm the ladies man of the series. I'm supposed to be most of the comic relief in the series, as well as annoyingly and excessively perverted. I'm also really hot and pretend to honor Buddha while chasing skirts. Most of all though, I like booty.

**Kagome** – Get your hand off my ass.

**Miroku** – You know, I bet if you stuck a coal up there and pulled it out a week later you'd get a…

**InuYasha** – Get your grubby hands off my chick! 

*_Beats Miroku within an inch of his life_*

**Shippou** – Adulthood sucks. That's all I'll ever learn throughout the course of this entire series.

**Miroku** – You'll say that until you get some action. Then your thoughts'll change.

**Kagome** – Argh, I already have enough on my plate as it is! I don't have time for a feudal booty call!

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 1 – 17 ___**

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Coming up next, Sango's introduction! Wai! Heh, sorry, I just couldn't help myself on this one, I was having so much fun reading Thumbnail Theaters that I ended up just shooting out this idea. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please review if you have time. I'm not going to say that I need such and such reviews to continue the story, as I have a MAJOR policy against that. However, reviews are always encouraging, and they certainly give me more incentive to write. So if you have any thoughts, please share!


	2. Episodes 18 through 35

Author's Notes – Hey everyone! I just got done seeing the X2 movie (totally good, I suggest you see if you already haven't), and so I'm totally psyched. I've also been getting interviews set up for temporary summer jobs that I can take before I leave for college at Purdue. Wish me luck, I should be working at the Mall of America by June. Anywho, enjoy the second part of this little series. It's amazing how much one can condense an episode and still get it coherently across.

Rated – R for swearing

By – Merc 

**__**

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – Starting where we left off, Sesshomaru is now missing an arm, Miroku, Shippou, and basically the entire main cast aside of two other people has been introduced. So onwards to episode 18.

**Jaken**** – Sesshomaru-sama, as your mindless lackey, I must ask how you feel today.**

**Sesshomaru** - …

**Jaken** – Say something oh exalted one.

**Sesshomaru** – Shut up Jaken, can't you see I'm supposed to be the mysterious quite guy of the series?

**Jaken** – S-sorry oh great master of whom I have a very strange and indescribably-odd crush on. 

**Sesshomaru** – I'd hit you but I happen to be MISSING an arm. Shit, this not-having-an-arm stuff sucks.

**Naraku** – I could fix that. *_Holds out random arm that he just happened to find._*

*_Naraku__ laughs malevolently, thus obeying The Laws of Anime ™*_

**Sesshomaru** – You're a fuckin' baboon, why the hell should I trust you?

**Naraku** – Shut up yo, I got the bling-bling goin' for me here. Now take the damn arm and do my dirty work.

**Sesshomaru** – Which is…?

**Naraku** – Kill the main characters of the series.

**Sesshomaru** - Sweet, what's the job pay?

*_Naraku__ disappears, although his nefarious presence and evil voice still remain in accordance with _The Laws of Anime ™_.*_

**Naraku** – Revenge.

**Sesshomaru** – Damn, that's the last time I ever trust a Rafiki-ripoff.

_*Sesshomaru walks off to attempt to kill his brother…AGAIN_.*

**Sesshomaru – S'up bro?**

**Kagome** – Aw crap, are we in for another game of Family Feud: The Mortal Combat version?

**InuYasha** – Don't you have anything better to do besides beat me up? You are such a loser.

**Sesshomaru** – At least I'm not a hanyou. 

**InuYasha** – Come off it cheese-dick.

**Miroku** – Who's she?

**Sesshomaru** – I'm a he.

**Miroku** – That's a guy?

**InuYasha** – Yeah, he's my butt-munch of a brother.

**Kagome** – Should I intervene?

**Miroku** – No, they must honorably fight for their honor as honorable owners of their honorable indestructible and unbreakable swords.

**American audience** – Japanese culture is scary…

**Miroku** – Can't believe that's a guy. Too bad, he has a nice ass.

**Shippou** – Do you EVER think about anything besides sex?

**Miroku** - *_Flips through script_* According to the story, nope.

*_InuYasha__ and Sesshomaru call each other various slightly-insulting names and pose masculinely for about three days. Then the two brothers fight AGAIN. In accordance with The Laws of Anime ™, InuYasha beats his brother. AGAIN.*_

**InuYasha** – I don't want you to get hurt Kagome, so I'll seduce you into my arms before forcibly shoving you down into the old, ancient foreboding well in which you crawled out of. 

**Kagome** – You really suck at this goodbye stuff.

**Shippou** – Aw, romantic moment.

**Miroku** – Looks like InuYasha's about to get some action!

*_InuYasha__ hurls Kagome down the well*_

**Miroku**** – What the FUCK?!**

**Shippou** – InuYasha you dumbass, we needed her to track down the Main Magical Item ™ of the story!

**Miroku** – You're an idiot InuYasha. Now excuse me while I go chase some more booty.

**InuYasha** – Shut up, both of you.  

*_Stuff happens. Kagome whines, moans, bitches, and cries about not being able to go back for awhile. Then she gets to come back. Mushiness ensues._*

**Kagome** – InuYasha! I'm so freakishly nice that I'll completely ignore how you threw me down an empty well and stuck a frickin' tree there to block me from ever coming back, because I know that you love me.

**InuYasha – Say what now?**

**Kikyou** – Hello, I'm here to stop any form of a relationship from developing until near the end of the series.

**Kagome** – Aw hell, not you again!

*_A bunch of stuff happens. InuYasha and Kikyou make out in front of Kagome. Kagome gets pissed, InuYasha can't figure out why, and in the end Kikyou tries to take everybody to hell.*_

**Kagome** – What the fuck? I'm you, so what, you hate yourself or something? Damn, I HATE PARADOXES!!! 

**Kikyou** – Go away.

*_Kikyou's__ plan fails.*_

**Kikyou – Damn.**

*_Everything turns happy temporarily_*

**Sango** – Hi everyone! As The Laws of Anime ™ state, I'm the kickass chick-with-a-brain-in-her-head-and-a-weapon-in-her-hand. Word up homies.

**Kohaku** – And I'm the perfectly innocent younger brother. 

**Sango** – We're so happy with our perfect lives. La la la la la la…

*_A bunch of stuff happens. Everyone dies.*_

**Kohaku** - *_Possessed*_

**Sango** – This sucks.

*_Kohaku__ gets shock to kingdom come by an unnecessarily-large amount of arrows.*_

**Sango** – Kohaku!

**Evil dude** – Shoot the broad too.

*_Everyone dies except for Sango.*_

**Sango** – Don't bury me you stupid morons! I'm still alive, which is more than I can say for the rest of my village and loved ones, not to mention every single person that I have ever held dear to me!

**Naraku** – Hey, I could use her for a new insidious plot.

**Sango** – Who killed my family and village and loved ones?

**Naraku** – InuYasha. 

**Sango** – Fuck him, he's going down.

**Naraku** – Er, just an FYI, you're about 2/3's dead.

**Sango** – Shaddap. 

*_Sango__ hikes a really long way, all the while loosing almost all of her body's blood supply.*_

**Naraku** – That looks painful.

**Sango – No shit Sherlock. Ow…**

**Naraku** – Here, let Dr. Naraku take care of it. *Sticks in a Shikon Shard*

**Sango** – Sweet, I can no longer feel pain!

**Audience** – Yeah, too bad pain is your body's way of telling you that something's wrong. Just pray you don't drop dead before you get to InuYasha.

**Sango** – Ha, InuYasha, I have found you!

**InuYasha – Eh?**

**Sango** – InuYasha, my name is Sango. You killed my father (and brother and entire family and village, etc. etc. etc.) prepare to die.

**Miroku** – Whoa, a sexy slayer in spandex. It doesn't get any better than this!

**InuYasha** – Damnit, don't I ever get a break?

*_A big fight happens. Lots of boomerangs, smoke bombs, and blood go flying everywhere.*_

**InuYasha** – What the hell did I do to you?

**Sango** – Shut up and fight me like a man.

**InuYasha** – That's youkai to you.

**Miroku** – Damn she's hot.

*_More fighting happens. Sango learns the truth about Naraku. __She then nearly dies.*_

**Kagome** – Here, try to recover.

**Sango** – I'm fine.

**Miroku** – I know something that'll make the emotional and healing process better. Sleep with me.

**Sango** – Every single person in my life dies, I'm buried alive, used like a puppet, nearly killed by my own brother and my own enemy, and you want to grope my ass?

**Miroku** – Works for me! *_Grope_*

**Shippou** – Adults…

**Kagome** – Jerk-off.

*_Later on*_

**Sango** – By the way, the Shikon no Tama was created by this Xena-type chick who fought a bunch of youkai a way long time ago.

**Shippou – In the old days? As in the ancient days?**

**Sango** – Yeah, according to The Laws of Anime ™, it's the required Old Ancient Legend Surrounding The Mystical Item ™ of the series.

**Kagome** – Tight.

**Miroku** – Her ass is tight.

**Sango** – Explain to me why I fall for you again?

**Kagome** – Because he's the other male traveling companion of the group. 

**Sango** – Makes sense. *_Develops crush_*

**Shippou** – That was fast.

*_A bunch of pointless stuff that has nothing to do with the story happens involving some giant dude named Jineji and a bunch of dark, dank caves. Miroku gropes Sango repeatedly. InuYasha harasses Kagome repeatedly. Shippou just sits around and acts really cute.*_

**Kikyou** – I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

**Audience** – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

**Kagome** – You are _really beginning to grate on my nerves._

**Kikyou** – That's the whole point to my character in the story.

**InuYasha** – Score! Hey, maybe we could do a threesome?

**Kagome** – Grrrrrrr…

**Kikyou** – No dice. I'm gonna make you all dream really scary stuff for awhile while I steal the jewel.

**Cast** – Makes sense. *_Zonks__ out*_

**Kagome** – Help!

*_Kikyou__ steals the Shikon no Tama.*_

**Kagome** – Damnit!

**Kikyou** – Nya nya nya nya nya, I got the jewel.

**Kagome** – I cannot believe that this is me in my past life. 

*_Everyone wakes up*_

**InuYasha** – Hey, give that back!

**Kikyou** – Make me! *_Sticks out tongue_*

**InuYasha** – Damn, I forgot how hot you were. Oh yeah, and that whole love-thing too.

**Kagome** – I'll just fall asleep while you guys are talking and dream about you making out again.

**Kikyou – Kinky.**

**Kagome** – I hate you so very much.

**Kikyou** – I hate you too, even though I am you, and you are me, and you are you, and I am me, and…

**InuYasha** – Owwwwwww, my brain hurts.

**Miroku** – This is why you should never time-travel.

*Meanwhile, in an unrelated story*

**Sesshomaru** – Ow, that smarts!

**Rin** - *_Giggles*_

**Sesshomaru** – Oh great, just what I need, human scum. I hate humans, I hate humans, they are the lowest form of life on the planet…

**Rin** - *_Makes kiddy googly-eyes at Sesshomaru*_

**Sesshomaru** – Go away!

**Rin** - *_Giggles*_

**Sesshomaru** – Roar!

**Rin** - *_Giggles more and hands him food*_

**Sesshomaru** – What the hell? The roar always seems to work on youkai.

*_A bunch of scenes later, Sesshomaru finds Rin DEAD.*_

**Jaken** – Ew, a dead innocent human girl. Oh well, la ti da…

**Sesshomaru** – I hate humans. They bite the big one.

**Jaken – Exactly.**

**Sesshomaru – Damn.**

**Jaken** – What?

**Sesshomaru** - *_sideways glance* Aw hell, I'll just pretend like I'm testing out my indestructible and unbreakable sword of healing when in fact I really want to save her life._

*_Rin__ comes back to life*_

Rin – Tee hee!

Audience – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

*_Meanwhile with Kikyo... well she eventually goes away. Everything goes back to normal. Then Babe The Blue Ox…er…I mean a big three-eyed ox-thing falls out of the sky.*_

**Kagome** – Eep!

*_Ox lands in front of InuYasha*_

**InuYasha** – HOLY SHIT!!! *_Dodges_*

*_Everyone but Kagome and InuYasha are un-phased.*_

**Sango** – This is normal behavior in our world.

**Kagome** – I swear this place is like a Dr. Seuss story on E.

**Toto-Sai** – Yo InuYasha, wazzup?

**InuYasha** – Who the hell are you?

**Toto-Sai** – Why I'm…HOLY MOTHER OF PETE!!! THE SWORD!!!

*_A bunch of pointless cleaning and griping scenes later.*_

**Toto-Sai** – Oh yeah, I meant to tell ya, I'm Toto-Sai. I'll fix, clean, and sharpen your indestructible and unbreakable sword for free, all the while griping like an old stooge about how much you abuse it.

**Kagome **– Sounds cool.

**InuYasha** – Great, I get to be harassed by an old-fart from now on whenever I need to fix my indestructible and unbreakable sword.

**Shippou** – I'll just sit here and look cute.

**Miroku** – And I'll just sit here and fill my required grope-Sango quota for the episode.

**Sango** – Do it and die.

**Miroku** - *_Grope*_

**Sango** – Asshole *_Whacks him on the head with her giant boomerang_*

**Miroku** – Damn, that thing hurts like a mother. 

**Sango** – Is it so hard to QUIT PLAYING GRAB-ASS?!

**Miroku** – Yes.

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 18 – 35_**

**__**

**__**

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Go Minnesota Wild! Sorry, I just have to root for my favorite hockey team there. I'm watching them as I write these ending author's notes. I really hope you enjoyed this. Obviously the characters are OOC, they're supposed to be. Hehe! Please review if you have time, I LOVE reading reviews.


	3. Episodes 36 through 52

Author's Notes – Hehe, I had a lot of fun with this part of the chapter. This set of episodes is the most intensive until the Shichinin-Tai come. Just so everyone knows, I own episodes 1 through 107, so I do know what I'm talking about. LOL, also, to clear up any confusion, I have read the entire manga series so far, and I continue to follow it on the Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi web site. Anywho, enjoy this chapter, I had way too much fun writing it.

Rated – R for very intensive swearing

By – Merc 

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – Starting off from episode 35, Sango has been introduced, Kikyou annoyed the crap out of the cast five or six times, a side-story involving Sesshomaru meeting an adorable little girl took place, and Toto-Sai gave InuYasha hell for being such a jackass to his sword.

**InuYasha** – Everything in life is good, la ti da…

**Kouga** – Wazzaaaaaaaaap?

**InuYasha** – Who the hell are you?

**Shippou** – Dude, you're that one dude who rules those other dudes. 

**Kouga – Ph34r m3 d00d.**

**Shippou** – You totally kicked my dad and I out of our home. You suck.

**Kouga** – Shut up you little pipsqueak. 

*_A bunch of stuff happens._*

**Kouga** – Allow me to introduce myself. I'm the rival of the other main character for the romantic interests' love. Oh yeah, I'm also a wolf youkai who just so happens to look very, VERY human. 

**Ginta**** and Hakkaku – Yeah, and we're the guys/youkai/wolves/whatever who follow him all over the place despite the fact that he treats us like crap. **

*_Kouga__ hits on Kagome. InuYasha hits on Kouga's head.*_

**InuYasha** – Get off my girl!

**Kagome** – Lay off it InuYasha, I thought Kikyou was your girl.

**InuYasha** – I, uh, er…

**Kagome** – "I, uh, er…" is right you jerk.

**Shippou** – Wow, you mean this isn't a love-triangle anymore?

**Miroku** – Nope, now it's looking more or less like a love-square. 

**Sango** – Somebody'd better stop Takahashi before there's a love-pentagon!

**Kagome** – Sorry Kouga, even though I'm sending you totally mixed signals, my heart belongs to InuYasha. However, I'll continue to lead you astray on this fact throughout the series by being so nice that you'll think that you have a chance with me when in fact you don't.

**Kouga** – Works for me.

**Ginta**** and Hakkaku – Dude, Kouga, she totally doesn't dig you.**

**Kouga** – What would you know you two dateless-wonders?

**InuYasha** – Get lost small-dick, Kagome's mine.

**Kouga** – Same do you dog crap, she's mine.

**Kagome** – You people talk about me like I'm property.

**InuYasha**** and Kouga – Well DUH, it's only 500 years in the past!**

**Kagome** – Fuck you both, I'm going home.

*_Kagome leaves_*

**Sango** – NOW look what you made her do!

**InuYasha** – ME?!

**Kouga** – It's all your fault InuYasha!

**InuYasha** – Now way man, it's totally yours.

**Kouga** – Your fault!

**InuYasha** – Your fault!

**Kouga** – Your's!

**InuYasha** – Your's!

**Kouga** – Your's!

**InuYasha** – Shut up before I break out my indestructible and unbreakable sword!

**Kouga** – Oh I'm so scared.

**InuYasha** – You should be.

**Kouga** – Like I'm afraid of you Dog Crap.

**InuYasha** – Butt-head!

**Kouga** – Poopy-pants!

**Shippou** – Thus a series-long rivalry begins.

*_Some time later, Kagome cools off and comes back_.*

**Shippou** – Hey, while you were gone I drew a bunch of pictures and showed the townsfolk your entire love-octagon or whatever story.

**Kagome** – Crap, guess I can't go back there for awhile.

**Shippou** – Why?

**Kagome** – Because thanks to you I'm probably the laughing stock of the neighborhood.

*_A bunch more stuff happens involving the framing of InuYasha and co. for the deaths of some of Kouga's clan, etc. etc. etc_.*

**Kouga** – InuYasha you stupid moron, what the HELL?! 

**InuYasha** – Despite the fact I'm holding one of your comrade's stone-dead bodies and the entire Fellowship of the Jewel™ is covered in your comrade's blood, we didn't kill them.

**Kouga** – Like hell you didn't.

*_Kagura__ appears*_

**Kagura** – Bwahahahah! I am Kagura of the Wind, and if you haven't already guessed by now, I manipulate wind and do really cool stuff involving manipulating innocent corpses to make them seem alive. 

**Kagome** – S'up?

**Miroku** – You set us up you bitch!

**Kagura** – But of course! Now I'll reveal my entire insidious plot to you and Kouga so that all of that work to frame you went to waste.

**Kouga** – Dude, you smell like Naraku.

**Kagura** – That's because Naraku gave birth to me.

*_Everyone blanches_.*

**Sango** – Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

**Miroku** – WHOA, back up a bit there hon. Naraku's a dude, yo. 

**Shippou** – Wait, I don't get it.

**Kouga** – Wait, you mean this whole time Naraku was a chick?

**Kagura** – No! He's still the pimpingnest evil MAN you ever met.

**InuYasha** – Dudes don't give birth to other dudes.

**Miroku** – Yeah, where's the fun with that?

*_Sango__ hits Miroku*_

**Kagome** – Maybe Naraku's a-sexual?

**Kagura** – NO!!! Argh, never mind, you guys don't get it. 

**Audience** – OBVIOUSLY!!!

**Kagura** – Naraku's pretty fly for a baboon guy.

*_InuYasha__ attacks Kagura*_

**InuYasha** – Just in case you forgot, I learned this new kick-ass attack a few episodes back called the Kaza no Kizu (Wind Scar) that I unleash courteously of my indestructible and unbreakable sword. Since you manipulate the wind, it shouldn't be that difficult to blow your ass from here to Shanghigh.

**Kagura** – Bwahaha, says you!

*_A lot more unnecessary fighting occurs. Kagura blocks the Kaze no Kizu multiple times. Kagome shoots the air with an arrow. That's right, she shoots THE AIR. Kagura is pushed back_. _Later on…*_

**Koharu** – Hey Miroku! I'm an under-aged, statutory 14 year old girl who wants to bear your child! Remember, you asked me if I would bear your child when I was 11. Remember? Remember? Huh? Huh? WELL GUESS WHAT!? I'm physically able to now!

**Entire cast** – Miroku…you…pedophile…

**Miroku** – Aw crap.

*_More stupid stuff happens afterwards. The group meets Kanna the Albino Naraku-Slave and her really annoying mirror. The group sort-of beats Kanna the Albino Naraku-Slave and her really annoying mirror. But of course, not before InuYasha gets hurt. _*

**InuYasha** – Ow, ever since we ran into Kanna the Albino Naraku-Slave, I've been in a lot of pain. 

**Kagome** – Geez, you're only half-dead after all.

**InuYasha** – I guess it's time for an overdue and well-deserved break. *_Goes to recover*_

**Goshinki** – Not so fast InuYasha! I'm another one of Naraku's offsprings here to make your life a living hell by fighting you and spouting out crap about wanting to kill you.

**Sango** – This is getting ridiculous. 

**Miroku** – Sucks to be InuYasha.

**InuYasha** – Aw HELL, I can't take a break for 5 fucking MINUTES without somebody chasing my ass down! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!

**Kagome** – If this keeps up he's gonna get a peptic ulcer.

**Shippou** – This totally sucks, InuYasha's trying to fight with a giant hole in his body.

**InuYasha** – Ain't no biggie, I'll just open a can of feudal whoop-ass with my indestructible and unbreakable sword.

**Goshinki – Whatever.**

*_Fighting ensues. InuYasha loses for awhile.*_

**InuYasha** – What the hell?

**Kagome** – This is bad.

**Goshinki** – Oh, did I forget to tell you? I can read minds. Bwahahaha!

**InuYasha** – So? Kaze no Kizu! 

**Goshinki** - *_Dodges_*

**InuYasha** – Why you little! *_Tries to stab him with his indestructible and unbreakable sword._*

*_Goshinki__ chomps down on the indestructible and unbreakable sword, breaking it into two.*_

**InuYasha** – **_GREAT MERCIFUL CRAP!!! MY SWORD!!!_**

**Kagome** – What the hell? He just BROKE the indestructible and unbreakable sword!

**Sango** – Plot twist!

**InuYasha** - *_Insert long continuous string of swear-words here*_

**Goshinki – Now to kick _your ass you little hanyou._**

**Miroku** – What's he gonna do now? The not-so-indestructible and not-so-unbreakable sword was the only thing that he could use against that youkai.

**InuYasha** – Shit shit shit shit shit…

**Goshinki** – Bwahahaha!

**InuYasha** – Don't laugh, I'm not screwed just yet!

**Kagome** – Well…

**Miroku** – What do you mean, "Well…"? He's totally screwed.

**Kagome** – No he's not! Sango, tell him!

**Sango** – He's screwed.

**Kagome** – What? Shippou…?

**Shippou** – He's royally screwed.

**Kagome** – Some companions you are.

**Goshinki** – *_Attacks InuYasha, nearly killing him.*_

**InuYasha** – Fuck me, I'm totally screwed.

*_Suddenly InuYasha turns full youkai and rips Goshinki to pieces. Goriness ensues. Later on…*_

**Sesshomaru** – Idea!

*_Takes tooth of Goshinki to a swordsmith, who (plot twist) was once an apprentice to Toto-Sai. He makes a new sword for Sesshomaru. He then goes crazy from the sword. A bunch of insane Slayers-esque fighting ensues. The sword possesses a bunch of people. Finally Sesshomaru gets ahold of it. All the meanwhile, InuYasha gets his indestructible and unbreakable sword fixed by Toto-Sai.*_

**Sesshomaru** – This sword is so totally cool!

**Rin** – Neato!

**InuYasha** – Does it have a name?

**Sesshomaru – Yup, Toukijin.**

**Kagome** – What do you people name swords? That's like me naming my kitchen knife!

**Sesshomaru – Ph34r th3 sw0rd d00d.**

**Miroku** – L33t. 

**InuYasha** – So what're'ya gonna do with it?

**Sesshomaru** – What else?

*_Yet ANOTHER brother-vs.-brother feud breaks out.*_

**Kagome** – Not again!

**Sango** – Do they always fight like this?

**Miroku** – Yes.

**Sango** – I swear, those guys don't have blood in their veins. It's all Testosterone.

**Kagome** – Argh, this place is totally overrun with Testosterone.

**Sango** – I say we name them Testo-maru and Steron-asha.  

*_A big ugly pointless battle later.*_

**Sesshomaru** – Hahahaha, I rule! W00t!  
**InuYasha** – Not really, I'll just use the Kaze no Kizu on you again and…

*_InuYasha__ lifts up his sword, only to realize that it's so heavy that it weighs down his arm.*_

**InuYasha** – What the hell? Toto-Sai, you blow at fixing swords!

**Sesshomaru** – Up high! *_Jumps_*

*_InuYasha__ swings slowly*_

**Sesshomaru** – Down low! *_Jumps*_

*_InuYasha__ swings slowly.*_

**Sesshomaru** – Too slow! *_Bats the indestructible and unbreakable sword away.*_

*_InuYasha__ turns full youkai*_

**InuYasha** – I'm full youkai again. Nya nya!

**Sesshomaru** – For once I actually fear him. Crap, I must be getting soft. *_Runs away*_

**InuYasha** – Damn straight.

**Shippou** – He's full youkai, this could be a problem.

**Kagome** – Osuwari! 

**InuYasha** - *_Smack_*

**Kagome** – Not anymore. =3

*_More episodes pass by. InuYasha and __Co._ do battle with their hormones as well as more of Naraku's babies named Juuroumaru and Kageroumaru. InuYasha can't fight worth crap because he can't even lift his own indestructible and unbreakable sword. He tries to practice with it and use it, but to no avail. All the meanwhile, Sango finds Kohaku. In accordance with The Laws of Anime ™ he has amnesia. Sango tries to remind him of his past. Kohaku tries to figure out why Sango is being so lovey-dovey towards him.*__

**Sango** – Do you remember who I am Kohaku?

**Kohaku** – Damn you're hot, so I hope my girlfriend.

**Sango** – Try sister.

**Kohaku** – Aw yuck! *_Wipes away previous thoughts_*

**Sango** – I love you little brother. *_Hugs_*

**Kohaku** – Who are you again? *_Blushes_*

**Sango** – I think I'm going to cry.

**InuYasha** – I think I'm going to puke.

*_Stuff involving running happens. Kohaku tries to kill Kagome. Sango tries to kill Kohaku, and in a state of utter teenaged-suicidal-angst, herself as well.*_

**Sango** – I'll kill you, then myself!

**Kohaku – Whatever.**

**InuYasha** – Now wait just a goddamned minute!

*_Everyone lives thanks to InuYasha. Sango cries over the loss of her brother. She then recovers. Everyone travels to a village. They save a grandson and grandfather from a youkai who had killed everyone else. InuYasha fights the youkai who killed everyone in the village named Gatenmaru. Gatenmaru beats the crap out of InuYasha because he STILL can't lift his heavy indestructible and unbreakable sword. InuYasha throws aside the sword and turns full demon and beats the crap out of Gatenmaru…then everyone else._ *

**Kagome** – Down boy!

**Sango** – Whoa, InuYasha's going on a killing spree.

**InuYasha** – Blood, blood, bloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood….

**Shippou** – Ack!

**Kagome** – Stop!

**InuYasha** – Roar!

**Shippou** – Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

**Grandson** – Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!

**Miroku** – That dead chick has a nice ass…

**Sango** – Bad idea…*_smack_*

**Miroku** – Point taken.

**Sesshomaru** – Hello everyone! I'm conveniently here to (what else?) beat the crap outta my little brother!

**Kagome** – *_Throws up hands in exasperation* OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…!!!!_

**Sango** – Not again…

**Miroku** – We'd need to fucking castrate them in order to get them to stop fighting!

**Kagome** – Sesshomaru, you suck!

**InuYasha** – I agree, roar!

*_More fighting ensues. Sesshomaru beats the crap out of InuYasha. InuYasha beats the crap out of Sesshomaru. Eventually InuYasha is knocked out cold_.*

**Sesshomaru** – I'm outie!

**Kagome** – I really hate the fact that he's gonna be one of my in-laws…

**Sango** – Sucks to be you.

**Kagome** – Really. At least you won't have any in-laws.

**Sango** – Does a drunken old Buddhist monk count?

**Kagome** – I don't know.

**Shippou** – Kagome your track record with boys really sucks.

**Kagome** – So when I marry him I'll have a Testosterone-run brother-in-law. Woohoo.

**InuYasha** – I'm awake!

**Kagome** – How ya doin'?

**InuYasha** – DAMN THIS SWORD TO HELL!!! *_Chucks indestructible and unbreakable sword_*

**Miroku** – Maybe you should see Toto-Sai about that.

**InuYasha** – Ya think?

**Miroku** – Only trying to help.

**InuYasha** - *_Stares at indestructible and unbreakable sword * Fuck you sword._

**Kagome** – Now now InuYasha, what did it ever do to you?

**InuYasha** – It BROKE!

**Kagome** – Besides that.

**InuYasha** – It's HEAVY!

**Kagome** – Give the poor thing a break.

**Shippou** – He treats his sword the same way as he treats little innocent children like me.  *Cries*

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 36 - 52_**

-----------------------------------------------------

So how did you all like it? Hee, I had waaaaaaaaay too much fun writing this. These are the intense episodes of the series, so I'm going at a slower pace (not by much but still…). Anywho, PLEASE REVIEW!!! I love reviews so much, and I always take suggestions! 


	4. Episodes 53 through 64

Author's notes – Hey everybody! Sorry for the delay, I'm working on two school newspapers at the exact same time, and they both have the same deadline. Ack! Oh well, that's what I get for being the editor. Anywho, I did manage to find time to write this, so I hope you enjoy it. If you've noticed that I've slowed down (instead of 17 episodes I only managed to get through 11 this time), it's because the episodes are becoming much more intricate. The middle of the series is the most important and detailed part, and I'm right in the heart of it. Actually, I downplayed the last few episodes (chapter 2). 

Rated – R for frequent swearing

By – Merc 

**__**

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Kagome** – InuYasha sure has been turning full-youkai lately.

*_Toto-Sai appears out of nowhere_*

**Toto-Sai** – That's because his indestructible and unbreakable sword is actually a triple threat. It protects InuYasha, it's made as a balance between brothers, AND it constrains his full-youkai blood. So InuYasha, you idiot, when you throw the damn indestructible and unbreakable sword away like that, you let loose your inner demon.

**InuYasha** – You say that like it's a bad thing.

**Toto-Sai** – You'll kill yourself eventually.

**InuYasha – So?**

**Toto-Sai** – Just fight with the damn sword.

**InuYasha** – But the thing is so fucking HEAVY! See? 

*_Pulls out indestructible and unbreakable sword, his arm promptly crashing to the ground with its weight.*_

**InuYasha** - How do I fix this? 

**Toto-Sai** – Become stronger.

**InuYasha** – We no DUH!

**Toto-Sai** – No, I mean, uh…here, just fight this dude named Ryuukossei. Beat him and your indestructible and unbreakable sword will go back to a normal weight.

**InuYasha** – That's it? Sweet!

*_Runs off to kill Ryuukossei_.*

**Toto-Sai** – Shit. WAIT INUYASHA!!! I forgot to tell you that your father DIED trying to beat this guy!

*_InuYasha's__ out of earshot. Toto-Sai freaks out and goes to tell the group.*_

**Kagome** – Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! You mean that suicidal idiot went off to do battle with the very guy that killed his dad?

*_Myouga__ pops out of nowhere*_

**Kagome** – Can't you suck on somebody else's neck for a change? 

**Mygouga** – Hm, let me think about that. No.

**Kagome** – Damn.

**Sango** – Why are you here?

**Myouga** – To tell you guys the story of InuYasha's father.

**Shippou** – Oh boy…

*_Five hours later_*

**Myouga** – And that's the end of that.

**Sango** – You suck at telling stories.

**Miroku** – So this Ryuukossei is a real bad ass eh?

**Toto-Sai** – Pretty much. Ryuukossei's got some **mad skillz** on him.

**Miroku** – Well InuYasha's not exactly the worst fighter in the world.

**Toto-Sai** – Yeah but his **skillz aren't as ****mad as Ryuukossei's.**

**Sango – That idiot.**

*_Miroku__ gropes Sango. Sango slaps Miroku.*_

**Miroku** – There's got to be a better way to flirt than this.

*_InuYasha__ finds Ryuukossei. He frees him from this random tree that his father stuck him to with his tooth. That's right, his tooth. Kikyou can stick InuYasha to a tree with something cool like an arrow, but InuYasha's dad had to use his tooth. Anywho, a bunch of gloating, male posturing, threatening, swearing, and posing later, Ryuukossei proceeds to beat the living crap out of InuYasha. Meanwhile the rest of the group shows up on Kirara, but being the helpful people that they are, they all just sit there like bumps on a log and watch.*_

**InuYasha** – Uhhhhhhhhh…*Lays comatose on the ground.*

**Shippou** – Sucks to be him.

**Kagome** – GET UP INUYASHA!!!

*_InuYasha__ gets up, throws the indestructible and unbreakable sword away, and tries to fight. He suppresses his demon blood. By some Weird Twist of Miraculous Fate™, InuYasha picks up the indestructible and unbreakable sword again and magically learns how to use its ultimate attack.*_

**InuYasha** – Ryuukossei, you've got **mad skillz**, but not as **mad as mine! BAKURYUU!!! **

*_InuYasha__ blasts Ryuukossei into next Tuesday.*_

**Toto-Sai** – D00d, he totally just learned the most powerful attack possible courtesy of indestructible and unbreakable sword.

**Miroku** – W00t!

**Sango** – Wow, it's so bright and loud.

**InuYasha** – And you guys thought I was screwed. Keh.

**Kagome** – Quit while you're ahead.

*_Everything goes back to normal. InuYasha brags for awhile, but is eventually subdued by a PMSy Kagome. Shippou falls in love, but nobody cares.*_

**Sango** – Ok, seeing as how the producers of this series went completely, 100% out of order from the manga, I'm going to conveniently leave for three days to fix my big-ass boomerang while you guys go on some random hyginx which took place before my appearance in the manga. Have fun! *_Flies off_*

**Miroku** – Woohoo, a break!

**Shippou** – Oh sure, nobody cares when _I_ fall in love, but everybody's all eying Miroku to see how he handle's his crush's absence! I hate my life.

**Miroku** – And to think we don't even get together until volume 30 in the manga.

*_A bunch of stuff involving a really ugly dude who looks like he gorges on McDonalds five times a day happens. The guy for one reason or another is really, REALLY obsessed with peaches.*_

**Peach Man** – I need to feed my peaches of immortality…with HUMANS! BWAHAHAHA!!!

**Miroku** – Why are humans always subjected to this?

**Kagome** – Good thing we get our revenge when we emerge the dominant species later on. 

**Shippou** – Ha ha, sucks to be Miroku and Kagome.

**Kagome** – Shaddap.

**Miroku** – InuYasha's human too right now.

**InuYasha** – Shaddap.

**Peach Man** – Because this is anime, I'll only take the main character/babe of the bunch. 

*_Peach Man takes Kagome to what looks like a hot tub*_

**Male Audience** – ALL RIGHT, GRATUITOUS BATH SCENE™!!!

**Kagome** – Damnit, why can't these people ever leave my frickin' clothes on?

**InuYasha** – I'm here to save you from the Gratuitous Bath Scene™. 

**Kagome** – About damn time. *_Eyes male audience disapprovingly* _

*_Kagome stands up completely nude, thus giving InuYasha the full benefit of the Gratuitous Bath Scene™.*_

**InuYasha** – *Ahem*

*_InuYasha__, being the she-male that he is, turns around without even oogling. Kagome hugs him for some strange reason. She then finds Miroku and Shippou staring at her.*_

**Miroku** – It's times like these that I'm happy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

**Shippou** – Must…avert…eyes…

**Kagome** – HENTAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*_Later on, InuYasha fights Peach Man and gets thrown off a cliff in his human form.*_

**InuYasha** – Hey, I just had a startling realization. I love Kagome.

**Miroku** – Of COURSE he figures this out as he flies down the side of a cliff in a 2,000 foot death-plunge.

**Shippou** – You know he'll live. The Laws of Anime™ state that the main character will never die until the end of the series, if at all. And even if he did then he'd probably come back to life.

**Author** – Yeah *_glares at Neo-Genesis Evangeleon, 3x3 Eyes, and Excel Saga.*_

*_Everyone eventually defeats the fatty Peach __Man._ A bunch of filler stuff happens to Sango and she eventually comes back.*__

**Sango** – I'm back!

**Everyone** – Yay!

*_Later on…*_

**Tsubaki** – Hello everyone!

**Kaede** – WHAT THE CRAP?! You're still alive?

**Kagome** – I'm lost.

**Sango** – Goes double for me.

**Tsubaki** – Yo, what's shakin' bacon? I am/was Kikyou's rival.

**InuYasha** – It shows in your use of 50-year-old vocabulary.

**Tsubaki – Groovy disco-dawg.**

**Kagome** – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SOMEBODY STOP THE HORRIBLE SLANG!!!

**Miroku** – So who are you again?

**Tsubaki** – Well jeepers, my name's Tsubaki, or Lady Tsubaki to you. If you think Kikyou's a bitch, take a look at me. I'm so bitchy that my name is synonymous with PMS. Also, I'm unbelievably vain. I was supposed to get the Shikon no Tama to guard over 50 years ago but nooooooooooooooooooooo, that stupid warthog of a miko Kikyou got it.

**Kaede**** – Well of COURSE she got the damn jewel. You were already dabbling in the black arts by then!**

**Tsubaki** – Shut up, I'm telling the story. Anywho, I tried to curse-kill that f-ugly Kikyou but it didn't work because she batted away the demon I sent after her. That jerk sent my demon straight for my eye, and now my face is scarred, although you can't tell thanks to the wonders of Revlon and Cover Girl. Even when I did try to get back at her later on, she had some stupid hanyou-thing guarding her.

**InuYasha** – That would be me.

**Tsubaki** – You're still alive?

**InuYasha** – I could ask the same of you.

**Tsubaki** – You haven't aged a bit.

**InuYasha** – Oh, what, and you have? You don't look a day over 17!

*_A bunch of fighting and cursing happens_.*

**Tsubaki** – I curse you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you…

**Kagome** – Hey, don't curse-kill me! Ow! Ow! Ow!

**Sango** – DAMNIT WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY?!

**Tsubaki** – And you and you and you and you…

*_Suddenly Kikyou comes_*

**Kikyou** – Wazzup Tsubaki?

**Tsubaki** – Hey great, I was just trying to curse-kill your reincarnation.

**Author** – Can I add a suggestion? How about curse-killing Kikyou while you're at it.

**Kikyou** – Can I help?

**Tsubaki** – Hope you don't mind that I was also trying to kill your ex-boyfriend.

**Kikyou** - *_Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl_* 

*_A major miko cat-fight ensues_. *

**Miroku** – Add a tub of mud and put those two in bikinis and I'd swear I was in heaven.

**Shippou** – Do you have an eternal boner or something? Sheesh!

*_Meanwhile…*_

**Sango** – Hang in there Kagome.

**Tsubaki** – Glad to see my curse-killing is working.

**Kagome** – THIS FUCKING HURTS!!!

*_Kagome has a bunch of curse-induced dreams involving everyone living in her time.*_

**Miroku** – Crap, she's starting to show the side-effects of (smoking too much pot) Tsubaki's curse.

**Tsubaki** – Hahahaha, I'm having fun killing your boyfriend.

**Kikyou** – Fuck you.

**Kagome** – This sucks.

*_More cat-fighting ensues. Tsubaki has a big snake-thing thrown at her eye and it makes her face look like its got varicose veins.*_

**Tsubaki** – MY FACE!!! You shit heads, that was my FACE!!!

**InuYasha** – Funny, I thought it was your ass.

*_Tsubaki__ runs away*_

**Kikyou** – Straight up 'ho, there's only room for one bitchin' miko in this world, yo.

**Kagome** – I would hate you but that would entail having to hate myself and then that would entail that I'd have self-esteem issues and…

*_The group recuperates and goes after Tsubaki. Along the way they meet two mikos who are of no importance to the storyline at all. After a typical Miroku-fondling, the group manages fight them off. They then go after Tsubaki some more.*_

**Tsubaki** – You people have no lives, do you?

**Kagome** – Besides chasing you, at the moment, no.

**Sango** – Don't you have tests or something back home Kagome?

**Kagome** – Screw school, I'll just mooch off my friends when I get back. 

*_Tsubaki__ turns into an ogre.*_

**Tsubaki** – BWAHAHAHA!!! You can't beat me now that I'm an ogre!

**Miroku** – This from the chick that was freaking out over a little ink-spill on her face?

**Shippou** – Ok, at first you looked hot, but now you're just f-ugly!

*_Tsubaki__ attacks Kagome.*_

**InuYasha** – Hey Shrek, pick on somebody your own size.

*_InuYasha__ beats Tsubaki with his indestructible and unbreakable sword.*_

**Tsubaki** – Ow…

**InuYasha** – Who da man? Uh-huh, InuYasha in da house!

*_Kagura__ comes and steals a Shikon fragment which Tsubaki apparently had in her back.*_

**Kaede** – So THAT'S why you never grew old.

**Kagome** – Ew, well she is now.

*_Tsubaki__ turns freakishly old and disintegrates.*_

**Kaede** – One down, one to go.

**Kikyou** – Now wait a minute!

**Kagome** – Can I do it?

**Kikyou** – Bite me.

**Miroku – Gladly.**

**Sango** – I still don't understand why I fall for you. *_bonk_*

**__**

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 53 - 64_**

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yup, only 11 episodes covered in this one. That's because the series is the most intricate right here. Well, it is until episode 101 I should say. Anywho, I have to slow down because there's a lot of important info that might have people lost if I didn't cover. Please review, because I really love the motivation. I don't get many reviews, so I seriously appreciate each and every one. Please? Pretty please with sugar on top?


	5. Episodes 65 through 72

Author's notes – To everyone who's been reviewing so far, you're all totally sweet. I love every single review you've given me, it makes my day to see a new review-notice in my e-mail Inbox. A shout out to all of the online (and offline) readers of this fic! Now then, I need to get serious for a moment. Here's the deal, right now I'm under a crushing amount of pressure and stress from my high school newspaper (I'm the editor), math, and art (yes, you heard my right, art class). I'm trying to get these next few parts out as fast as I can, but for right now you all must bear with me. I'm sorry for the delays that will inevitably come up. I'm graduating in two weeks and combined with everything else that's going on, I'm currently in schedule hell. 

Rated – R for swearing.

By – Merc

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – InuYasha's indestructible and unbreakable sword was freakishly heavy until InuYasha went and beat the crap outta this one youkai that had sorta killed his dad. Then it got light, much to the satisfaction of InuYasha and Toto-Sai, and much to the dissatisfaction of Sesshomaru, Kouga, and Naraku. When we last left off, Kikyou got bitch-slapped by Tsubaki The Annoyingly Vain, who led everyone on a really annoying wild goose chase and in the end turned into Shrek…I mean an ogre and was eventually killed. 

**Kagome** – Hooray, a filler episode!

**InuYasha** – It's getting late, let's turn in for the night.

*_Miroku__ cons everyone into an inn*_

**Miroku – No need to thank me.**

**Shippou** – Sweet digs.

**Sango** – Damn you and your horrible hypocritical ways.

*_Later on that night, the door to Miroku's room opens_*

**Miroku** – Why can't hotel cleaning ladies ever come at a decent hour? 

*_Sango__ walks in*_

**Miroku** – Sango?

**Sango** - *_COLD BLANK STARE_*

**Miroku** – What are you doing here?

**Sango** - *_COLD BLANK STARE_* 

**Miroku** – Ah, I see now. I see it in your eyes…

**Sango** - *_COLD BLANK STARE_*

**Miroku** – I knew you couldn't resist me for too long baby. Grab some bed and let's get it on! 

*_Sango__ attacks Miroku. She later gains back consciousness and doesn't remember anything. Later on Miroku attacks Sango. He then regains consciousness and doesn't remember anything. Then Kagome goes crazy and regains consciousness, blah blah blah, followed by Shippou. You all know where I'm going with this. Finally, InuYasha looses his mind.*_

**Shippou** – What the crap?

**InuYasha** – Come on Shippou *_starts to take off his clothes seductively* I'll give you my first time…tee hee!_

**Kagome** – What the FUCK?!

**Miroku** – And you say I'm a pedophile!

**Sango** – Oh God the yaoi-ness! Somebody please stop the yaoi-ness!

**Shonen-ai/Yaoi**** fanfic authors - *_Begin writing furiously_***

**Shippou** – GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! 

**Kagome** – Stop it before the shonon-ai and yaoi authors get ahold of this!

**Shonen-ai/Yaoi**** fanfic authors – Too late!**

**Kagome** – Shit. OSUWARI!!!

*_InuYasha__ comes back to reality*_

**InuYasha** – Where am I?

**Shippou** – ANYTHING BUT INUYASHA LOVIN'!!! ANYTHING!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!

**InuYasha** – What's he going on about?

**Miroku** – You tried to have sex with him.

**InuYasha** - *_Faints_*

*_Later on it's revealed that everyone went crazy because Myouga had some random fiancée from the boondocks and forgot to let everyone know. So the fiancée went and possessed everybody in an effort to find Myouga.*_

**Myouga** – Crap, I thought I had gotten rid of her. *_Runs away_* BACHELOR FOREVER BABY!!!

*_Some more really random stuff happens involving Kouga getting his crack stash…I mean jewel shards taken from him by Kagura. Kagura then tries to join forces with Sesshomaru.*_

**Kagura** – Let's kill Naraku together. 

**Sesshomaru** – *_FRIGID-COLD SILENCE_*

**Kagura – Please? **

**Sesshomaru** – *_FRIGID-COLD SILENCE_*

**Kagura** – Pretty please?

**Sesshomaru** – *_FRIGID-COLD SILENCE_* 

**Kagura – Pretty please with sugar on top?**

**Sesshomaru** – *_FRIGID COLD SILENCE_*

**Kagura** – You know you wanna.

**Sesshomaru** – No.

**Kagura** – PLEASE?!

**Sesshomaru** – No.

**Kagura** – Come on, I'll sleep with you if you do. You know you want me baby.

**Sesshomaru** – How about I kill you and save Naraku the trouble.

**Kagura** – Fuck you.

**Sesshomaru** – *_FRIGID-COLD SILENCE_*

*_Kouga__ and InuYasha and everyone else chase after Kagura for the shards. Kagura flips them the bird. InuYasha flips her his indestructible and unbreakable sword.*_

**Kagome** – By the way, InuYasha, uh, just an FYI…

**InuYasha** – What?

**Kagome** – You're kinda, sorta, maybe…human.

**InuYasha** – Oh yeah, forgot about that.

**Kouga** – AH-HA!!! I found out your secret! I found out your secret, I found out your secret, nya nya nya nya nya!

**Kagome** – Please don't tell anyone Kouga-poo. *_Makes big, loving, dough eyes.*_

**Kouga – Anything for you my darling Kagome-kins.**

**Sango** – That was easy.

**Kagura** – What about me? I know your secret now too! HA HA!!!

**InuYasha** – Like I care? I'll declare it to the fuckin' world if I have to!

**Miroku** – Let's not but say we did.

*_They fight. Kagura is injured and ends up letting go of Kouga's crack supply…I mean Shikon jewels. Everyone is happy_.*

**Kouga** – I got my jewels back.

**Kagome** – Yay.

**InuYasha – Damn.**

**Sango**** & Miroku – We'll just stand idly by like the unappreciated secondary characters that we are.**

**Shippou** – What about me?

**Sango**** & Miroku – Nobody cares about you.**

*_And indeed nobody does, as Shippou in the next wonderful filler episode goes on some wacky adventure that nobody cares about nor cares to remember.*_

**Shippou** – Finally, an episode about me!

**InuYasha** – Nobody cares.

**Shippou** – Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

*_Later on, a stark-naked dead dude falls out of Naraku_.*

**Shonen-ai/Yaoi**** fanfic authors - *Writes furiously***

* _The Stark-Naked Dude™ turns around and is  found to be faceless. From then on in Stark-Naked Dude™ runs around ripping people's faces off.*_

**InuYasha** – Who the hell are you?

**Kagome & Sango** - *_Whistle approvingly_*

**Miroku** – My God man, put some clothes on!

**Stark-Naked Dude™** - Make me.

**Kagome** – What's the matter InuYasha, afraid you can't compare? *_Nudge*_

**InuYasha** – I'm twice the size he is!

**Kagome** – Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you are.

**Miroku** – He's not THAT big!

**Sango** – Whatever makes you feel better small-pants. 

**Guys of the group** – Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

**InuYasha** – Got a name? 

**Stark-Naked Dude™** - Musou

*_InuYasha__ and Musou pull draw their swords.*_

**InuYasha** – Ha! My sword's bigger than your sword, and you know what they say about men with big swords.

**Kagome** – That they're trying to compensate for something?

**Shippou** – BURN!!!

**InuYasha** – You all suck.

*_A bunch of fighting over the next three episodes takes place. Everyone learns that Musou (a.k.a. Stark-Naked Dude™) is in fact the discarded human heart of Onigumo, who for those of you who can't remember, is the evil dude who had scary fantasies about Kikyou and ended up turning into Naraku. A bunch of background information is revealed about Onigumo that nobody really cares about. InuYasha hacks Musou into pieces multiple times, only have him regenerate.*_

**InuYasha** - *_Cut**Hack**Slice*_

**Miroku** – You know what, this isn't working.

**Sango** – No shit Sherlock, I could've told you that an hour ago!

**Kagome** – Hey InuYasha, you think you might wanna stop hacking him up for a sec while we try to come up with a tactical plan?

**InuYasha** - *_Blank stare_*

**Sango** – Oy…

**Kagome** – Never mind, go back to hacking.

*_Meanwhile in Narakuland…*_

**Naraku** – Ow…

**Kagura** – What?

**Naraku** – I guess I still need Stark-Naked Dude™ in order to live.

**Kanna**** The Albino Naraku-Slave™ – Uh, then you might wanna get him.**

*_Meanwhile, back at the hacking site…*_

**InuYasha** – WHY *_chop_* WON'T *_hack* YOU *__cut* DIE *_slice_*?!_

**Musou** - *_Regenerates_* 

**InuYasha** – This sucks big hairy ass.

**Musou** - *_Sticks out tongue_*

**Miroku** – Hey InuYasha, while you were busy making an ass out of yourself, we all came up with a tactical plan.

**InuYasha** - *Blank stare*

**Miroku** – *_Shaking his head_* Just aim for the scar on his back.

**InuYasha** – Ok…

*_Naraku__ comes and takes Musou away.*_

**Kagome** – Nice timing.

**InuYasha** – WARGH!!!

*_InuYasha__ follows Naraku, who has gone into a foreboding and obscure part of the forest. Naraku re-absorbs Musou.*_

**Shonen-ai/yaoi**** fanfic authors - *_Writes furiously_***

*_InuYasha__ tries to kill Naraku, but is stopped by his impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier.*_

**Naraku** – Nya nya nya nya nya nya!

**InuYasha** – Hey baboon-butt, quit hiding behind your impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier and fight me like a man…er, youkai…er, hanyou…er, just fight me!

*_Naraku__ leaves.*_

**InuYasha** – WUSS!!!

*_InuYasha__ goes to Toto-Sai to see if he can upgrade his sword to version 4.0*_

**Toto-Sai** – What do you want?

**InuYasha** – Make my sword stronger.

**Toto-Sai** – Why?

**InuYasha** – I need to break through an impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier.

**Toto-Sai** - Oh. Uh, what did you want again?

**InuYasha** – Make my sword stronger.

**Toto-Sai** – Why?

**InuYasha** – I need to break through an impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier.

*_An entire episode composed of InuYasha becoming Toto-Sai's bitch…I mean lackey later…*_

**Toto-Sai** – What did you want again?

**InuYasha** - Urge to kill…rising.

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 65 – 72_**

---------------------------------------------

Hehe, well I hope you liked this installment of the episodes. I understand that many of the readers here haven't seen this far into the series, so I've begun to slow down my episode ascent and put more detail (with added poetic license of course) into the ones that I'm commenting on. Please review, they're my incentive to keep writing. Reviews totally make my day. 


	6. Episodes 73 through 81

Author's notes – Hey everyone! I'm finally able to get the next chapter out. Hooray! Last week was the busiest of the month, so from now on I should have a bit more time to write. In the meantime I'm happy to report that I got a summer job working at Camp Snoopy in the Mall of America (Camp Snoopy, for those of you who don't know, is the amusement park in the middle of the mall). I'm going to be a Ride Service Associate. Wai! Also, I've been selected to make a commencement speech at my graduation! HOORAY!!! My school doesn't have valedictorians and the like because we don't have weighted grades, so every year they have students try out to give one of four speeches at the ceremonies, and I'm happy to report that I got one of those spots. Hehe! Graduation is only 2 weeks away…

Rated – R for swearing (though not as much in this chapter)

By – Merc 

**__**

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – When we last left off, the group had finished battling Tsubaki the Annoyingly Vain and InuYasha was hellbent on being able to break through Naraku's impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier with his indestructible and unbreakable sword. 

**InuYasha** – Damn, how am I gonna do this?

**Kagome** – Do what?

**InuYasha** – Break through impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier?

**Kagome** – I could always go back to my time and find some technology to do the work.

**InuYasha** – Hmmm…nah.

**Shippou** – Yes, let's do it hard way. 

**Miroku** – Hard way it is!

**Myouga** – I have a secret! I have a secret! 

**InuYasha** – What?

**Myouga** – In order to break through Naraku's impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier, you need to strengthen your sword.

**InuYasha** – AGAIN?!?! AW COME ON!!!

**Sango** – Hasn't he already done that?

**InuYasha** – And it was so fucking heavy after I did too!

**Myouga** – No! I mean in order to break Naraku's impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier, you need to make the Tetsusaiga stronger by breaking an even-more- impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier!

**InuYasha** – Just like that? Easy as Ramen?

**Myouga** – Yup!

**InuYasha** – Myouga…

**Myouga – No need to thank me master.**

**InuYasha** – …you totally suck.

*_InuYasha__ and the gang head to a remote village where they find a bunch of bats terrorizing the people for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The gang meets up with Shiori's Mom. Shiori's Mom describes how her daughter (who if you haven't figured out by now, is named Shiori) was a hanyou just like InuYasha and, after a long and messy custody battle, was given to her wonderful granddaddy who had agreed to stop attacking everybody if he got his granddaughter.*_

**Shippou** – I don't get it, if he agreed to stop attacking everyone once he got Shiori, then why is he still attacking?

**Shiori's**** Mom – Because he's a jackass.**

**Kagome** – What does he want with a prematurely-gray-haired 7 year old anyways?

**Shiori's**** Mom – Well…*_insert long tedious mushy story here*…and that's why she's the only one who can create the impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier for the bats. _**

*_InuYasha's__ ears perk up.*_

**InuYasha** – Did you say impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier?

**Shiori's**** Mom – Yeah, why?**

**InuYasha** – W00t!

*_The bats attack. InuYasha and the gang "bat" them away. InuYasha tries to kill Shiori's grandpa but he can't kill him without killing Shiori, who is conveniently In The Way™. A bunch of sympathizing, flashabacks, male posturing, idle threats, and motherly worry happens. In the end Shiori's Mom gets Shiori back_.*

**Shippou** – Awww, a happy ending!

**Audience** – How cute, an emotionally traumatized and scarred-for-life little girl.

**InuYasha** – Too bad I didn't break the barrier. Oh well, la ti da!

*_Suddenly the cheesiest thing that could possibly happen happens, and InuYasha's indestructible and unbreakable sword gains the power to break through Naraku's impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier. InuYasha's indestructible and unbreakable sword then becomes the  intimidating fire-engine red-indestructible and unbreakable sword._ *

**Everyone** – Yay!

**InuYasha – Kickass d00d.**

*_Everyone goes onwards. A gigantic chunk of filler episodes independent (and non-existent) from the manga ensue, beginning with InuYasha as he sits around in Kagome's time traumatizing Buyo, the family cat. After this large scene of shameless foreshadowing, Miroku and Sango are harassed by a bunch of freaky cat-people_.*

**Freaky Cat-Person** – Meow, we're looking for a strange miko who wears an obscenely short and flappy kimono.

**Miroku** – That'd be Kagome.

**Audience** - *_Sarcastically_* OBVIOUSLY.

**Freaky Cat-Person** – Yeah, her, give her to me.

**Sango** – Fuck off.

**Freaky Cat-Person** – Like hell I will, attack!

*_A bunch of cats attack, then stop, and disappear for no apparent reason_.*

**Sango** – O…k…

**Miroku** – Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…

**Sango** – I see we've hit a block of episodes that never occurred in the manga.

**Miroku** – Only something this strange would prove that fact.

**Sango** – Oh well *_polishes Hiraikotsu_*

**Miroku** - *_Grope_*

**Sango** - *_Smack_*

*_InuYasha__ and Kagome come back. In the meantime one of the cats turns a bunch of stuff to ice and taunts Sesshomaru. For the next three episodes a lot of flashbacks and a really big battle between cats and dogs happen.*_

**Jaken** – Dude, we've been fighting this damn cats since…well, since…

**Sesshomaru** – Last time we fought I was with dad Fifty Years Ago™. 

*_Insert REALLY long slideshow of flashbacks and useless background information here_*

**Audience** – Ouch…flashback whiplash.

**Sango** – Why does everything happen exactly Fifty Years Ago™?

**Miroku** – Beats me.

**Shippou** – Even in Sesshomaru's older flashbacks he looks the same as he does now.

**Sango** – How old IS he?

**Sesshomaru** – That is a secret. *_Winks like Xellos from Slayers_*

**Kagome** – Hey, not to interrupt or anything, but I've been sorta kidnapped and COULD REALLY USE SOME RESCUING!!!

**InuYasha** – Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

**Sesshomaru** – InuYasha you are weak!

**InuYasha** – Oh yeah? Well you're weaker!

**Sesshomaru** – You're weaker times 100!

**InuYasha** – You're weaker times 1000!

**Sesshomaru** – Times a million!

**InuYasha** – Times infinity!

**Sesshomaru** – Times infinity plus one!

**Sango****, Shippou, Miroku, Kagome, Kirara – HEY GUYS!!! If you haven't noticed already, we've ALL been captured and could USE SOME HELP!**

*_InuYasha__ and Sesshomaru keep arguing*_

**InuYasha** – Dirt-bag!

**Sesshomaru** – Half-demon!

**InuYasha** – Fluffy!

**Sesshomaru** – Runt!

**InuYasha** – Cannon fodder!

**Sesshomaru** – Algae!

**InuYasha** – Girly man!

**Sesshomaru** – Defiler of children and Canadian geese!

**Cat Tribe** – Uh, hey, you guys gonna fight with us or just make killing the two of you really easy?

**InuYasha**** and Sesshomaru – STAY OUT OF THIS!!!**

*_The two brothers work together to easily destroy the same tribe that gave an entire army of youkai, including Sesshomaru and the brothers' father, undefeatable crap Fifty Years Ago™. In all actuality Sesshomaru does most of the work in defeating the tribe by healing them all. That's right, he HEALED THE ENTIRE ARMY in order to BEAT them.*_

**Kagome** – That has to be the most twisted victory I have ever seen in my life.

**Entire Cat Tribe** – Here here.

*_And just when you think the two brothers will resolve their differences…*_

**InuYasha** – Chicken butt!

**Sesshomaru** – Manwhore!

**InuYasha** – Butt head!

**Sesshomaru** – Pee-drinking crap-face!

*_Finally InuYasha and Sesshomaru are dragged apart thanks to Kagome. They travel a bit before being stopped by some soldiers_.*

**Soldiers** – Do any of you guys know this chick named Sango?

**Sango** – That'd be me.

**Soldiers** – This way please…

*_They go to a castle_*

**Soldiers** – Meet our lord…

**Sango** – Hello.

**Castle Lord** – Marry me.

**InuYasha** – *_sarcastically_* Whoa there Casanova, wouldn't want to get TOO romantic now would we?

**Kagome** – Well THAT was fast.

**Miroku** - ………………

**Shippou** – What the hell?

**Audience** – Plot…whiplash…ow…

**Sango** – Do I even KNOW you?

*_An entire episode of Miroku trying to hide is emotions by hitting on anything and everything with boobs and a butt later…*_

**Sango** – Er, I barely even know you.

**Castle Lord** – But I've been thinking about you since I was 10. I'm like Anakin from Star Wars.

**Sango – How very…disturbing.**

**Kagome** – Word.

*_They walk onto a bridge_.*

**Kagome** – Come on Miroku, let's spy on them!

**Miroku** – Let's not.

**Kagome** – If you love her, you'll sneak around behind her back and listen to her private conversations.

**Miroku** – You futuristic morality frightens and disturbs me.

**Castle Lord** – I love you Sango.

*_Miroku__ leaves*_

**Sango** – ARGH!!! I don't even know you!

**Castle Lord** – So? This is the feudal era, you have to do what I say.

**Sango** – Fuck you.

*_Sango__ and Miroku battle a youkai. They then leave the castle (rather quickly). The next few filler episodes involving Jaken trying many wacky plans in order to steal InuYasha's indestructible and unbreakable sword and Rin being kidnapped by Kagura later…*_

**Rin** – SESSHOMARU-SAMA, HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP!!!

*_Sesshomaru runs towards Rin's direction.*_

**Rin** – I'm saved! OVER HERE!!!

*_Sesshomaru__ runs away from where Rin is to Naraku's castle.*_

**Rin** – WRONG WAY!!! 

Naraku – Word up homie.

**Sessshomaru** – Shut cho trap dawg 'n get wid it. Straight up with the hizzle-faschizzle yo, you got mah girl G. 

**Naraku – Ph34r m3 d00d.**

**Sesshomaru** – Straight up, yo ass is wack.

*_A pointless conversation later*_

**Naraku** – Kukukuku, why didn't you go save your little pipsqueak Sesshomaru?

**Sesshomaru** – Because I need to pretend like I don't care and beat the crap out of you.

**Rin** – HEY SESSHOMARU-SAMA!!! TRY A FEW MILES THIS WAY!!!

**Kohaku** – Shut up.

**Rin** – Who are you? 

**Kohaku** – Kohaku.

**Rin – Oh. Sesshomaru-sama will be here any minute to save me. Yup, Sesshomaru-sama will save me. Why are you here? Where's your mommy and daddy? Do you like squash? How about hopscotch? Do you like four-square? Do you like four-square meals? Are you a vegetarian? Do you agree with PETA? Do you vote democrat or republican? Or are you an independent? Do you believe in the basic freedoms of humans? What about life's basic freedoms? What is the meaning of life? Is the answer to everything really 42? Does the rain in Spain fall mainly in the plain? Why does the English alphabet consist of 26 letters and the Japanese alphabet consist of over 10,000 characters? Why is it that eagles may fly but weasels don't get stuck in jet engines? Why did the chicken cross the road? Who thought up the word egg? How do you like your eggs? Who invented the word "egg"? Did I mention that Sesshomaru-sama will be here soon to save me…?**

**Kohaku** – Whoa…

*_A big fight between Sesshomaru, and Naraku ensues. Naraku wins.*_

**Sesshomaru – Damn.**

**Naraku** – Now to absorb you into my body!

**Shonon-ai/yaoi**** authors - *_write furiously_***

**Sesshomaru** - *_UNAFFECTED STARE*_

**Naraku – Afraid?**

**Sesshomaru** – Meh.

**InuYasha** – Never fear, InuYasha is here!

**Naraku** – What the crap? 

**InuYasha** – Kaze no kizu!

**Naraku** – How did you break through my impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barrier?

**InuYasha** – That's for me to know and for you to find out. 

*_InuYasha__ drives back Naraku. InuYasha tries to kill Naraku, but Sesshomaru is, of course, In The Way™.*_

**InuYasha** – I'll kill you Naraku!

**Sesshomaru** – Allow me to conveniently INTERFERE so that neither of us can kill him.

**InuYasha** – For the love of God, don't' you have ANYTHING better to do with your time besides annoy the crap out of me?

**Sesshomaru** – Not really, nope.

**InuYasha** – Damn you to hell.

**Sesshomaru** – Dork-brain.

**InuYasha** – Noodle-noggin!

**Sesshomaru** – Skunk-breath!

**InuYasha** – Jerk-face!

**Audience** – ENOUGH WITH THE FIGHTING ALREADY!!!

**Naraku** – Kukuku, thanks to their fighting, I can make an easy escape. *_escapes_*

**InuYasha** – NOW look what you did!

**Sesshomaru** – ME?! 

**InuYasha** – Yeah you, you shman!

**Sesshomaru** – Fart-breath!

**InuYasha** – Ass wipe!

**Audience** – Oy….

*_ Sesshomaru gets royally pissed off, but instead of attacking Naraku, who had already escaped anyways,, he runs after Kohaku, whom Naraku had instructed to kill Rin_ *

**Rin** – Where are you taking me?

**Kohaku** - *_COLD BLANK STARE_*

**Rin** – You're really hot, what's your phone number?

**Kohaku** - *_COLD BLANK STARE_*

**Rin** – I'm not seeing anyone, how about you?

**Kohaku** - *_Takes several shots at Rin with his chain-blade weapon_*

**Rin** – EEK!!!

*_Sesshomaru__ comes and tries to kill Kohaku. InuYasha pleads with Sesshomaru to not kill Kohaku.*_

**InuYasha** – Don't kill Kohaku!

*_Thanks to InuYasha's impeccable skills of persuasion, Sesshomaru lets him slide.*_

**Kagome** – Don't worry Rin, I'm here to protect you.

**Rin** – Screw you lady. Wait up for me Sesshomaru-sama!

*_Rin__ runs off to join Sesshomaru*_

**Kagome** – What the hell?

**InuYasha** – Aw how cute…HEY WAIT A SEC!!! 

**Kagome** – Is that little girl traveling with Sesshomaru?

**InuYasha** – Dude, he totally hates humans. What the hell is that about?

**Kagome** – And to think he teases you for traveling with us humans.

**InuYasha** – Hypocrite. 

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 73 – 81_**

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Well I hope everyone liked the latest installment. Please review, for as I've said in all of the other chapters of this fic, I love reviews. They're my incentive to keep writing. Also, I wish a happy summer to everyone. Happy Memorial Day! 


	7. Episodes 82 through 88

Author's notes – Hey everyone! Graduation is exactly a week from now. Scary. Anywho, I really hope you enjoy this next chapter. I had so much fun writing it. I've gotten a bit of criticism on the overuse of swear words in this fic, and I feel to need to respond to this. First of all, I know I swear too much in this fic. That's one of the reasons it's so fun. Second, in the manga, InuYasha actually swears WORSE than this. No lie, he uses the F-word quite a bit in the Japanese version of the manga. They had to clean it up quite a bit when the manga was released in English. Anywho, enjoy the fic!

Rated – R for swearing, the corruption of innocence, and sexual innuendo 

By – Merc 

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – When we last left off, a lot of instances involving Naraku, Sesshomaru, Rin, a couple of impenetrably-strong and multi-colored barriers and more than enough indestructible and unbreakable swords to last everyone through an entire series. 

**Kagome** – Now that everything's done, I need to go back and study for a few life-alteringly important tests.

**InuYasha** – And I'll annoy the crap outta you so that you won't get much studying done.

**Kagome** – Must you always follow me?

**InuYasha** – Yes.

**Shippou** – Kagome and InuYasha sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N…

**InuYasha** - *_Bop*_

**Shippou** – Ow! Waaaaaaaa!

*_Kagome does mediocre on the test. She comes back to Miroku, Sango, and Shippou. As they set out to travel, they come across Kouga and all of his raging hormonal glory.*_

**Kouga** – I love you Kagome.

**Ayame** – EXCUSE ME?!

**Everyone** – Who the hell are you?

**Ayame** – Well, I was supposed to be Kouga's love interest in the series, but I guess Kagome beat me to the punch.

**Kouga – Eh?**

**Ayame** – I'm Ayame!

**Kouga** – Who?

**Ayame** – You don't remember me?

**Kouga** – Uh…

**Ayame** – Think hard.

**Kouga** – Drawing a blank.

**Ayame** – Think REAL hard.

**Kouga** - … 

**Ayame** – I'm your fiancée you jackass.

**Kouga** – **_EH?!_**

**InuYasha** – HA!!!

*_InuYasha__ does a little victory dance.*_

**InuYasha** – Ha ha! Kouga has a fiancée! Kouga has a fiancée! Kagome's all mine!

**Sango – Since when?**

**Miroku** – Dude, you're two-timing her with a dead chick as it is.

**Kagome** – Like hell I'm yours. With your dating record I'm lucky I'm not pushing daises by now!

**Ayame** – I hate you Kagome, our names sound exactly the same.

**Audience** – They do?

**Kagome** – Maybe the "me" part, but otherwise I fail to see the argument behind that allegation.

**Ayame** – Come again?

**Kagome** – Eat big words you illiterate feudal youkai.

**Kouga** – Dude, when in Dante's seven rings of hell did I get engaged?

**Ayame** – Hahaha! You're so funny! Hey everyone, isn't he funny? Pretending not to know when or how we got engaged. Hahahaha!

**Kouga** – I fail to see the humor.

**Ayame** – You're joking of course.

**Kouga** – I am…?

**Ayame – **_YOU-ARE-JOKING-RIGHT?!_******__**

**Kouga** – Ipe!

**Ayame** – Fine! I'll tell you how we got engaged. When I was a young, statutory little wolf-girl, I was attacked by an unknown youkai. So an undisclosed amount of years ago in an unspecified place during some time at night you saved me from the aforementioned unknown youkai. You then began to carry me to some unknown place and said that if I couldn't get a boyfriend after training in an unspecified region for an unspecified amount of years, that you'd marry me.

**Kouga** – Uh…

**Kagome** – Romantic…in a demented, mind-warpingly disturbing, and uniquely ambiguous way.

**Audience** – Kouga needs to stop smoking crack.

**Miroku** – Dude Kouga, you must've been so smashed that night.

**Kouga** – That is the LAST time I challenge Ginta and Hakkaku to a sake-drinking contest.

**InuYasha** – How very touching, well guess you can't have Kagome being the non-bachelor that you are, or will be. We'd better have a fast wedding, I'll even help plan it. Hell, I'll RUN it! Time's a-wasting! Miroku's a priest, you already looked dressed up as the fur-toting girly-man that you are, and we have witnesses. Ah me, young love…

**Kagome** – InuYasha!

**Kouga** – But I love Kagome!

**Ayame – That slut?**

**Kagome** – EXCUSE ME?!

**Ayame – Her and that piece of dog-crap.**

**InuYasha** – Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence!

**Giant Hairball** – ROAR!!!

**Sango** – When did that get here?

*_Ayame__, Kouga, InuYasha, and Kagome all fight with a giant hairball and each other for three episodes.*_

**Sango** – Houshi-sama, what is the point to us being here?

**Miroku** – So we can whisper behind the characters' backs about our assumptions to the love-pentagon which has now formed.

**Shippou** – Love…pentagon?

**Miroku – Ayame, Kouga, InuYasha, Kagome, Kikyou.**

**Sango** – Think General Hospital if all of the producers were all on crystal meth.

**Shippou – Oh.**

*_Meanwhile…*_

**InuYasha** - *_Gasp* This *__grunt* hairball is hard to *__crack* beat…_

**Kouga** – ACK!!! The giant hairball is biting my arm off!

**Ayame** – I'll save you! 

**Giant Hairball** - *_CHOMP*_

*_Ayame__ is eaten by the giant hairball.*_

**Everyone** – O_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

**InuYasha** – This isn't helping Ayame.

**Ayame** – Mph!

*_Three episodes later*_

**Kouga** – W00t, I finally defeated the giant hairball!

**InuYasha** – Excuse me? How about I defeated the giant hairball and you fought like a sissy.

**Ayame** – I thought I did pretty well up against it.

**Kagome** – Not to burst anyone's bubbles here or anything, but the giant hairball we just fought was sent by Naraku.

**Entire Cast** - *_GASP*_

**Ayame** – Who?

**Kouga** – You mean you don't know who Naraku is? 

**Entire Cast** - *_GASP*_

**Ayame** – Gee, I was only training in a secluded and far away place in the mountains for about TEN YEARS.

**Miroku** – So to recap, this the same chick who was pissed at Kouga for not remembering her?

**Sango** – That's a long time to be training…

**Miroku** – Sheesh, I'd never be able to wait that long for somebody.

**Sango – Oh?**

**Miroku** - *_Grope*_

**Sango** - *_Smack*_

*_The group travels for awhile in an attempt to find Naraku. They run into an old lady.*_

**Old Lady** – I'm an exorcist.

**Sango** – Looks like you're in for some competition Miroku.

**Miroku** – Not…really…

*_The old lady takes them to a remote villiage where both she and Miroku con themselves into an inn. It's been made very apparent that the old lady totally sucks at exorcising anything larger than a dust mite.*_

**Miroku** – You were saying Sango?

*_The old lady tries to exorsize InuYasha, Shippou, and Kirara multiple times by showering them with "special holy dust."*_

**Shippou** – Give it up already.

**InuYasha** – Too much holy dust…ACHOO!!!

**Old Lady** – Ha, the holy dust is working! The youkai shall be smote in no time!

**InuYasha** – Achoo!

**Shippou** – Ow, that stuff got in my eyes!

**Sango** – Please stop trying to exorcise my pet.

**Random Beautiful Princess** – Tee hee!

**Miroku** – *_Follows after her*_

**Random Beautiful Princess** – Let's go down that deep, dark, dank, evil-aura oozing, obscenely-obvious-trap of a cave and make sweet love!

**Miroku** – Cha-ching!

*_Miroku__ follows the Random Beautiful Princess into the deep, dark, dank, evil-aura oozing, obscenely-obvious-trap of a cave, where he is (surprise surprise) compromised by the Random Beautiful Princess turned Random Ugly Youkai.*_

**Random Ugly Youkai** – Hahahaha! I shall grind your bones to make my bread!

**Miroku** – Damnit, guess I ain't gettin' none.

**Random Ugly Youkai** – Are you always this perverted?

**Miroku** - Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence! Oh, and yes I am.

*_Meanwhile…*_

**Sango** - *_Staring out the door with a really worried look on her face.*_

**Kagome** – I think Sango is worried about Miroku.

**Audience** – No, REALLY!?

**InuYasha** – I bet he's gettin' it on right now.

**Kagome** – You're not helping.

**InuYasha** – I bet they're kissing and disrobing and having wild monkey sex right now. Can't you just picture them now? That pretty princess receiving some serious houshi lovin'? Hey Sango, can't you just picture them? Huh? Huh?

**Sango** - *_ICY GLARE*_

**InuYasha** – What? All I asked was if you could hear the moans from her room yet…

**Kagome** – OSUWARI!!!!

**InuYasha** - *_BAM!!!*_

**Sango** – Houshi-sama sure has been gone a long time.

**Shippou** – He said he'd only be gone 15 minutes…

**InuYasha** – Two hours if he does it right…

**Kagome** – OSUWARI!!!

**InuYasha** - *_BAM!!!*_

*_Sango__ goes after Miroku. The old lady follows.*_

**Old Lady** – You're blushing.

**Sango** – Buzz off.

**Old Lady** – You like him, don't you?

**Sango** - …No…

**Old Lady** – You love him, don't you?

**Sango** - …No…

**Old Lady** –  *_Chanting* You want to love him, you want to date him, you want to marry him, you want to kiss him…_

**Sango** – Leave me and my hormone-ridden, teen-angst overloaded life alone! 

*_Later on a bunch of youkai spirits appear. Sango tries to save Miroku, but gets caught by the Random Ugly Youkai. They are both saved by, ironically, the senile old lady. Kagome and InuYasha do battle with a flying translucent head. In the end the castle is exorcised, and both Miroku and InuYasha tell the old woman not to quit her day job.*_

**Miroku** – You suck at exorcising.

**Old Lady** – Impudence! You are saying impudence to me! That's impudence!

**Sango** – Riiiiiiiiiight…

*_An episode involving Kikyou happens. Everyone hates Kikyou, and since it is of no importance to the story, we'll just skip right over it.*_

**Audience** – Most…worthless…episode…ever

**Kikyou** – Hey!

*_The group, upon hearing that Naraku has gone into hiding (again), set out to search for wherever he may be.*_

**Monkeys** – Hello!

**Kagome** – How cute!

**InuYasha – How annoying.**

**Monkeys** – Impudence! You are saying impudence to us! That's impudence!

*_The monkeys rob InuYasha and seal his hand to a obscenely-large boulder.*_

**Kagome** – And the saddest part is that this episode is really in the manga.

**InuYasha** – What the HELL?!

**Shippou** – Hey, that looks familiar. It's a spell us incredibly cute and clever kitsune use to defend ourselves. That or steal from somebody.

**InuYasha** – BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! 

**Kagome** – Can you help him out Shippou?

**Shippou – Nope, sorry.**

*_InuYasha__ starts searching for the monkeys, and later their "god," in order to remove the spell. A bunch of hilarious scenes involving him being repeatedly squished, rolled over, drowned, and pummeled by the boulder ensue.*_

**InuYasha** – Pain…ow…

**Shippou** – Maybe you should rest InuYasha.

**InuYasha** – Can't…need…find…bastard…monkey…kids…take…spell…off…uh…

*_Miroku__ and Sango come back later on after spending the day making out…I mean laying lazily underneath a tree (no lie, they actually spent the day sitting under a tree like a bunch of lazy bums) and have a good laugh at the situation. That night InuYasha has nightmares involving Sesshomaru and Kouga taking his swords and Kagome while his hand is stuck to the rock.*_

**Kagome** – Good morning everyone!

**Sango** – It's a beautiful day.

**Miroku** – How did you sleep InuYasha?

**InuYasha** – GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF OF ME NOW!!! 

**Shippou** – Whoa…

*_They eventually get it off.*_

**InuYasha – About damn time.**

**Monkeys** – We're sorry.

**InuYasha** – Sorry my ass. *InuYasha pummels them all*

**Kagome** – Take it easy, sheesh, they're only kids.

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 82 – 88_**

**__**

-----------------------------------------------

Wow, did I ever slow down the episode pace! Well, I hope you enjoyed it. As for the usual shpeal, let me just beg and plead with you readers for reviews. Please? Pretty please? I'll love you all forever if you review. **_PLEASE OH PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON THIS POOR AUTHOR AND REVIEW!!!_**


	8. Episodes 89 through 101

Author's notes – Tomorrow is my last day of school. Scary! Graduation is only two days away. Anyways, I hope you all like the latest installment. This was probably the easiest to write (besides the first chapter) because of the fact that literally every single episode in this set is a filler not even presented in the manga. You can tell that the producers were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. Enjoy!

Rated – R for a bit of swearing and the presence of raw livers and unmentionables

By – Merc 

**__**

**_InuYasha_****_ – The Condensed Commentary Version_**

**Author** – When we last left off, InuYasha was being harassed by a bunch of baby monkeys and a random old lady pointed out that Sango loved Miroku. An observation which had been made by the viewers of the show about forty episodes back. 

**Kagome** – ACHOO!!!

**Sango** – You're sick.

**Kagome** – No I'm not. ACHOO!!!

**Shippou** – You should go back to your time and rest.

**Kagome** – But the shards…

**InuYasha** – Damn straight! We don't have time for you to be sick. Get well…now!

**Miroku** – I don't think it works that way InuYasha.

**Kagome** – I think I'm gonna hurl…

**InuYasha** – Damn you weak woman and your weak sickness. GET OVER IT!!!

*_Kagome blows off InuYasha and goes back home_.*

**InuYasha** – Ack! Lost traveling time! Lost traveling time! Get back here you wench!

*_Goes in after her_.*

**Miroku** – So what are we supposed to do until he comes back?

**Sango – Anyone up for a game of Go Fish? **

_*Meanwhile back in Kagome's time.*_

**Kagome** – Sickness…dying…

**InuYasha** – Bah! You're perfectly healthy! 

**Souta** – You're not helping.

**Kagome** – Tunnel…light…

**Souta** – Stay away from the light Kagome!

**Kagome** - …

**InuYasha** – Fine!

*_Wanders off, only to return a few hours later with some supplies_.*

**InuYasha** – I need to use your wooden oven.

**Kagome's Mom** – Will an electric stove work?

*_InuYasha__ somehow manages to figure out how to use an electric stove and makes Kagome something very green and very nasty-smelling.*_

**Souta** – What's in that?

**InuYasha** – Livers and other unmentionables.

**Souta** - *_Turns green_*

*_Later on_*

**InuYasha** – Drink this, it'll make you better. Mommy used to make this for me. She cooked everything, hope you don't mind that I made it raw.

**Kagome** – Raw what?

**Souta** – Don't answer that InuYasha.

**Kagome** - *_Drinks* This tastes like crap._

**InuYasha** – Screw you, that's the last time I ever do anything nice.

**Kagome** – Hey wow! Despite the ensuing Mad Cow Disease and E-Coli, I feel quite healthy!

**Souta** – Wow, only thirty-seconds, a new healing record.

*_A couple of pointless episodes happen, one of which involves Souta having a crush on a girl despite the fact that in the 3rd grade, girls (and boys) have cooties.*_

**Souta** – I love you.

**Kagome** – Isn't he a little young to be saying that?

**Young Girl** – I love you too.

**InuYasha** – Man, what's with people and using the word "love" so much? Love…blech!

**Kagome** - *_Stares at InuYasha*_

**InuYasha** - *_Stares at Kagome_*

**InuYasha**** and Kagome - *_BLUSH*_**

**Audience** – JUST KISS ALREADY, SHEESH!!!

*_InuYasha__ and Kagome turn away*_

**Audience** – Damn.

*_An episode involving Kirara happens. Then another episode involving mostly Kikyou happens. Since everyone hates Kikyou and nothing happens in it anyways, we'll just skip over that one_.*

**Kikyou** – Hey!

*_Another episode involving Miroku being bound and gagged many times by a bunch of villages happens_.*

**Miroku** – What'd I do?

**Village Men  -** You hit on our girls you dumbass!

**Village Women** - *_SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON_*

*_Miroku__ gets beaten up.*_

**Miroku** – A little help Sango?

**Sango** – Eat garbage and die, Houshi-sama.

**Miroku** – I love you too. 

*_A bunch of filler episodes involving more background information on the Shikon no Tama, Jaken getting his ass kicked by Naraku's bees, and Sango thinking Kirara was killed happens._*

**Sango** – My poor little kitty…

**Shippou** – All of you are horrible, horrible people! You treated Kirara like crap!

**InuYasha** – Prove it.

*_Shippou__ proves it.*_

**Kagome** – Well when you put it THAT way…

**Sango** – I feel so bad. I used to roll over her when I was sleeping. I'm such a horrible person!

**Shippou** – Damn straight you horrible, horrible girl.

**Audience** – Compared to how the rest of the cast treated Kirara, Sango looks like a nun surrounded by a bunch of rapist puppy-killers.

*_Sango__ sobs uncontrollably.*_

**Sango** - *_Sob_* It's all because of me that *_sob* she ran *__sniffle* away *_cry_*._

**InuYasha** – Boy do I feel like crap.

**Miroku** – I made Sango cry. *_Feels bad.*_

**Shippou** – You SHOULD feel bad!

**InuYasha** – Now wait just a tick…

*_Shippou__ is proven to be just as big of a jerk to Kirara as the rest of the group, save Sango.*_

**Sango** – Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

**Kagome** – Jeez, any more revelations and Sango just might commit suicide.

*_Kirara__ comes back*_

**Sango** – Kirara! You're alive! I'm so sorry! I love you I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!

*_Kirara__ licks Sango and smiles.*_

**Audience** – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

*_Later on InuYasha and Kagome have a fight. Kagome gets pissed and storms off._*

**InuYasha** – She'll come back. They always do.

**Miroku** – Whatever fries your chicken InuYasha.

**InuYasha** – Just you watch, she'll come crawling back. Aaaaaaaaany minute now…

**Sango** – Oy, men…

**Miroku** - *_Grope_*

**Sango** - *_Smack_*

*_Kagome gets sucked into a weird vacuume-type cave where she meets Kikyou_.*

**Audience** – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

**Kikyou** – Yessssssssss! Screen time baby!

**Kagome** – Not you again!

**Kikyou** – We're all gonna die.

**Kagome** – You would say that, wouldn't you?

**Kikyou** – The end is near!

**Kagome** – Uh-huh…

**Kikyou** – The sky is falling!

**Kagome** – Okay then.

**Kikyou** – This cave eats mikos.  
**Kagome** – Come again?

**Kikyou** – D00d, this c4ve h4s l33t 34ting sk1llz.

**Kagome** – So this cave eats mikos.

**Kikyou – Yup.**

**Kagome** – Only mikos?

**Kikyou – Yup.**

**Kagome** – How convenient, a cave that eats only mikos.

**Audience** – How convenient, a very stupid and nonsensical story arc.

**Rumiko Takahashi** – Let the records show that I did not come up with this episode!

**Kagome** – Well then, shall I proceed in saving your ass repeatedly while you act like a frigid bitch the entire time?

**Kikyou** – Sounds good to me.

**Kagome** – I hate you.

**Kikyou** – Feeling's mutual.  

*_Kagome and Kikyou become temporary allies just long enough to defeat the cave. That's right, they defeat a miko-eating rock together_.*

**Kagome** – I'm alive!

**Audience** – Yay!

**Kikyou** – So am I!

**Audience** – Boo!

**Kagome** – Well I'm glad we made it.

**Kikyou** – Me too. So fuck you and I hope you die a thousand horrible deaths.

**Kagome** – Didn't I just save your ass multiple times?

**Kikyou** – Like I care? Screw off dirtbag.

**Kagome** – Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

*_In another part of the woods, Kouga and Sesshomaru run into each other_.*

**Kouga** – S'up?

Sesshomaru – Nuthin' much homie.

*_Everyone is wandering through a random forest when they come across Gatenmaru's older brother. Gatenmaru, for those of you who don't remember, was a freaky moth dude that InuYasha fought awhile ago._*

**Gatenmaru's**** Older Brother – Bwahaha! You may have defeated my younger brother, but you will never defeat me!**

*_Wraps everyone in a cocoon where they see their worst nightmares_.*

**Sango** – Aw come ON! How many times do I have to re-live being nearly killed by my younger brother?

**Producers** – As many times as we deem necessary.

**Sango** – You know, most people would have committed suicide by now from this kind of abuse.

**Producers** – Ah the wonders of medieval Prozac.

**Miroku** – My Kazaana's gone out of control again. Crap.

**Shippou** – I get to re-live the day my dad was killed and skinned. Yippie.

**Kagome** – What's Naraku doing in my time? Oh well, at least he could get rid of Hojo for me while he's at it.

*_InuYasha__ defeats Gatenmaru's Older Brother in about five minutes and spends the rest of the episode clawing away at the cocoons that everybody's trapped inside.*_

**InuYasha** – Don't die! Come on Kagome! Tell me to sit!

*_They eventually get out thanks to the multiple dream-like versions of InuYasha saving them_.*

**Kagome** – Thanks.

**InuYasha** – That's not what I wanted to hear.

**Kagome** – Osuwari.

**InuYasha** - *_BAM!!!_* That's better.

*_In the next episode, Miroku is telling Sango how he met a totally hot chick in the mountains when he was 13._*

**Miroku** – So anyways, I met this totally hot chick in the mountains when I was 13 and…

**Sango** - *_Smack_*

**Miroku** – What'd you do that for?

**Sango** – Mosquito.

**Audience**- Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. 

*_As luck and the Laws of Animé™ have it, Miroku eventually runs into the hot chick in the mountains._*

**Hot Chick in the Mountains** – Hi Miroku.

**Sango** – Go away you evil snow-white slut!

* _Hot Chick in the Mountains takes Miroku to her home where she presents him with enough kids to last his family's bloodline for the next millennia._*

**Miroku** – These are all mine?

**Hot Chick in the Mountains** – What, you mean you don't remember those many exhausting nights we spent together?

**Audience** – Is it just us or do a lot of these kids look too close to the same age to all be his?

**Miroku** – Man oh man, you must've given birth to octuplets every time you got pregnant. SHEESH!!!

*_Miroku__ proceeds to help her take care of them all.*_

**Sango** - Hot Chick in the Mountains is apparently the real deal. And get this, he has KIDS!

**Kagome** – He must've hit puberty really early for that to have happened.

**InuYasha** – Well he's about that age. He's probably trying to settle down now.

**Sango** – InuYasha?

**InuYasha – Yeah?**

**Sango** – You're not helping.

*_Everyone watches in amusement as Miroku cradles a snowman. Apparently Hot Chick in the Mountains was actually a youkai trying to kill Miroku_.*

**Hot Chick in the Mountains** – So you found out my evil plot.

**Sango** – Love always prevails! Er, I mean, you dirty whore, get off of him!

**Miroku** – Oh goody, two hot chicks fighting over me! I'll get the mud-tub, while the two of you slip into bikinis.

**Sango** – Remind me why I love you again?

**Miroku** – Well, in accordance with the Laws of Animé™, since I'm the only other guy in the group besides Shippou, you have to fall for me.

**Sango** – Oh yeah.

*_They defeat Hot Chick in the Mountains_.*

**Sango** – Guess you don't have kids then, Houshi-sama.

**Miroku** – Maybe not now but *_nudge_*

**Sango** - *_Smack_*

**Miroku** – Hey!

**Sango** – Mosquito.

**_End of Commentaries for episodes 89 – 101_**

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Whew, I actually managed to cover some ground with this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Now for the obligatory author pleading. **_PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE OH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!_** If you have any love and mercy in your soul, you'll review. 


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